You know I can’t sleep, I can’t stop my brain.

If I should pick any song that reflects my feelings at the moment it would have to be I’m So Tired by The Beatles. You can take that quite literally, I haven’t slept well in months. Trouble falling asleep, trouble getting up in the morning, feeling tired all day.
I’m not particularly stressed, I can’t say all is going well emotion-wise (on which I will elaborate later) but I’ve been having this sleeping problem long before those worries came along.
Well, I’m just going to have to wait for this problem to heal itself I’m guessing.

Now on to my emotional disruption on which I touched upon earlier, a couple of days ago, my parents informed me that they wanted to get a divorce. They’ve always fought a lot, my father isn’t a very affectionate man and my mother .. Well she’s just generally unhappy in life at this moment. Adding to this that we’re currently rebuilding our house, which always brings along a lot of tension, you can work out that this situation is getting a bit emotionally straining.
My mother regularly brings up divorce when they’re having one of their fights, but when my father agreed I was quite speechless. I hate their fighting, but I hate the idea of them getting a divorce even more. Just thinking about it makes me scared.
I am so secure in the situation we are in right now, both financially and emotionally, I’m not ready to give that up. And neither are my parents apparently, after long talks they decided to give their relationship another try, not all is back to what it used to be (but then again, we’re trying to change, not growing back in old habits are we?).
I have the feeling my mind is trying to repress what’s happening to them, and at the moment that’s exactly what’s working for me, so that’s what I’ll continue to do. Thinking about it emotionally drains me, really.

On a brighter note, I finally got an iPhone. I’m still one of those few to have that lovely little device here in Belgium as they’re not yet selling them here, because of problems with the legislation concerning the restriction to only one provider I’m guessing.
So, obviously, when I heard of the ability to buy them unlocked (that means being able to work with any sim card, including those of Belgian providers) I had to have one. That’s what my mind tells me you see, “you HAVE to have one, think of the options, for God’s sake think of the options”. Apple seems to have this effect on me with every one of their products (yes, I am typing this on my MacBook), I’m a fool for sleek design.
So I bought mine, and I tell you, it’s like I’ve been living in a cave and have recently moved in in a luxury apartment with an iPod build in. So, am I happy with it? Extremely. Was it worth the money I couldn’t afford to spend? Most certainly.

Paint me an Angel, with wings, and a trumpet, to trumpet my name over the world.

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